I like the Monday papers even better than the Sunday ones, with a round up of how celebrities spent the weekend. Joe won X Factor, Katie Price is promoting her clothing range (while Pete takes the kids out), Kiera is stripping and Ali and Brian were voted out of Strictly. The best story though is that Victoria Beckham needed a police escort to buy prawns in M&S and it got me thinking how much easier life would be if we all had a shopping escort to bump us up to the front of the queue – what a time saver! Half the battle with shopping is standing laden with goods in a line that stretches a mile long around the store….needless to say, and in the absence of a professional queue jumper, I’ve done the majority of my shopping online – the best queue buster of all.

Writer and expert